what is family? what is love?

my grandpa was hospitalized again today... the doctor says he has pneumonia and that he might not be able to recover from it. we find out in 48 hours and all we can do now is wait.

love is patient. love is kind. love is staying by your side until the very end. to my grandma and grandpa. love is forever.

three girls having a little too much fun on a saturday night

LOL, per Anh Thu's comments...

inside jokes created:
--shirt put on the right way, yes. check.
--are you going to post it? now? with a period? or an exclamation mark?
--we're gonna drive around downtown foreverrrrrrr
--jenny's bra.
--did we get kicked out? nooooo of course we didn't! oh..we did?! -.-
--AT!! Jenny's not in her bed!

studying.

i don't understand the concept of studying. i think most of my college friends could tell you that. i basically wait until the day before a test and cram all of the information into my memory. then forget it all right after i walk out from taking it the next day.

and if i ever "study" with other people, it's basically hang out time for me, and i ruin them from all chances of studying because i talk too much.

not good. especially because grad school has been a lot more work and i have exams coming up in the next weeks, on top of working three jobs. i need to grow up a little. but really i just don't have time.

goodbye weekend.

i thought i'd have some time to get caught up on things this weekend but...

friday night: melissa and i took marika out for her birthday to Zink. delicious food and lots of wine and champagne. thus the night ended with watching enchanted and falling asleep on the couch.

saturday: chinese youth foundation meeting in the morning, then apdc 30th anniversary dinner. followed by going out downtown: 1515, pat's and cowboy lounge. 2 long islands, 4 shots, 3 cranberry vodkas. ouch.

sunday: started the morning early with asian avenue magazine cover photo shoot at belmar for 4 hours!! went straight to do a restaurant peek at the red claw on federal blvd. had crawfish for the first time (interesting...). then i napped in the car at cherry creek mall while anh thu was buying a dress for a wedding. another meeting with naaap where i had a banana sundae crepe. and finally, off to my grandma's for her birthday, where i basically ate again and then had yummy cake. so yes, feeling like a workout is in order.

weekend flew by. monday blues for sure. work and then class tonight!

asian american speed dating

we are planning an Asian American speed dating event at the Isle Casino in October. lol. we'll see, we'll see. Asian Americans, so awkward. I suppose that's why this event is much needed.

Pikes Peak Challenge on Day of Remembrance

Yesterday I participated in the Pikes Peak Challenge with my best friend, Melissa (https://www.pikespeakchallenge.com/). All summer, she has been getting me to try new things and get out of my comfort zone. I love it. We hiked 13.5 miles up to the summit (elevation: 14,000 ft). It was an incredible experience, even though at many points I thought I wouldn't make it. I couldn't have done it without her and her wonderful boyfriend, Jeff, who basically carried my pack the last 3 miles and also found me a hiking pole. I felt like a little grandma with a cane, just inching along those last miles. The Pikes Peak Challenge is organized by the Brain Injury Association of Colorado, an organization that provides resources for brain injury victims and survivors. What an experience! Especially on Sept. 11, Day of Remembrance. I feel so fortunate to be healthy and alive. Lets live life to its fullest, appreciate others and lend a helping hand to those less fortunate. Love.

balanced diet, crazy...

i interpreted for a chinese woman at the clinic today. she has diabetes and kept telling me what a great diet she is on. everyday she drinks a glass of milk in the morning, then eats some veggies (mainly broccoli) for lunch, and then drinks a glass of milk before bed. that's it. she says absolutely no meats. WHA!? i felt bad because she has been so nervous about being diagnosed with diabetes that she's been on this strict diet. but it's all wrong. i tried to explain to her that she needs a balanced meal, with all food groups: carbohydrates and protein included. she didn't believe me. argh.

the transformation.

1) new gmail account.

2) new cell phone.

3) new place to live!

4) new haircut.

5) new laptop.

6) new planner.

7) LASIK!

and aside from all of these materialistic things, i've really gone through a transformation of my heart and soul. it sounds cheesy, but i feel rejuvenated and fresh. i'm a better person than i was yesterday, and the day before, the month before, etc. i've grown up a lot and am really looking forward to a bright future ahead of me!

butterfly is out to play.

"the next chapter"

I was invited to be to be the keynote speaker at Mizzou's Unificasian event on August 29th. The theme is "The Next Chapter" which is so relevant to me personally. I'm excited to share some insight and perspective with APA college students, especially from my alma mater. I'm going to discuss the creation of Unificasian (5 years ago), when Angela, Nescelle, Joyce and I established it! Wow, AAA has come so far. I could not be more proud of the students, my my grandkids. Hopefully, I can inspire the new students to "leave a legacy" at Mizzou. Much love!

Michael Franti - The Sound Of Sunshine (Lyric Video)

"Here I am, waiting for this storm to pass me by... and that's the sound of sunshine coming down."

The Basics

I was in a refugee meeting at the health clinic this week. The director was discussing a patient incident, where the patient was in a mental health session for stress and depression. During the session, he shares how he hasn't been receiving food stamps, his family is soon to be evicted, he has no food for his child, etc. The psychotherapist spent the session discussing these basic needs that his case manager had overlooked. These are human services that should be provided to every refugee when they arrive in Colorado.

The director went on to say, when we don't have our basic needs: food, shelter, home, a feeling of belonging... this would obviously lead to stress and depression. Our human instinct makes us thrive for these things.

As I was thinking about this case, I could completely relate. I really want to take my experience and help others. So many people are going through hard times right now and I am fortunate. I wish I could just help everyone get what they need to survive and be happy!

going away party

Wow, it's been so long time since I've been to a crazy house party... let alone hosted one. We threw a going away party for Quan on Saturday. He is leaving for optometry school in Chicago. With well over 100 people at the party--in the front, in the garage, on the streets, all around the house, the patio--the police came. They gave us a nice warning about the noise, but it only got worse when they left. Eventually, things calmed down and people started to go home. Quan made us salmon at 2am. I will miss him!!!

photography works.

i'm in the market for a new camera after my Canon Rebel SLR was lost (or stolen) last weekend. looking into NIKONs. i want to improve my photography and design skills. need to spend more time and energy (and monies!) on this.

it's amazing to see so many young people pursuing their passion in photography, modeling, fashion, etc. this whole industry is growing with youthful entreprenuership! starting your own senior pics business. walking on runways. designing your own clothes. that's awesome. kudos to all my friends for doing what they love.

now if i can only figure out what exactly it is that i love... and stick to it. that might be my downfall. too easily distracted.

Creamsicle Walls!

Marika's dad, Jeff, painted my living room walls yesterday. It looks FABULOUS! Now I just need to go shopping for artwork. I'm pretty stoked! And I never even use that word... STOKED. :)

Action-packed weekend...

Chris' Birthday at Dewey's Friday night... Whitewater Rafting at the Royal Gorge... Out to Tavern and Jet Saturday night... Dixon's for Breakfast on Sunday, followed by Tattered Cover Bookstore, Pinkberry and Denver Art Museum. Then Nepali show and Sonoda's Sushi!

Woot! Monday Monday... getting dinner with Denise. :)

chinese believe...

My mom has always told me Chinese people believe that having a big nose equates to having a lot of money. It's hard to explain without a diagram, but I don't mean having a high bridge, but a big... lobe? I don't know what it's called, but think Jackie Chan nose. She has told me many times that I have this kind of nose (WHAT!? I don't want a Jackie Chan nose... but I can see that I do have one.)

At the same time, Chinese believe if you put your fingers together flat, when your fingers align together perfectly, you will "keep money" and if you have holes between them, you "lose money". Unfortunately, my fingers are crooked and there are holes in multiple areas.

Thus, begins the story of my weekend... I was managing the 350+ volunteers for Colorado Dragon Boat Festival when I lost or someone stole my camera bag from the Volunteer Headquarters. Inside was my Canon Rebel, a zoom, Coach wristlet, cash, credit card, license, Oakley sunglasses, make-up and my KEYS! Since I didn't have a spare, I had to get a locksmith to come make new keys for me at the park. Total damage and loss is well over $2000.

But it makes me wonder how I was able to acquire these things. Wow, I have things that value $2000? In the end, I think the moral of the story is that I work hard to make money and get nice things, but then I have the unfortunate luck of crooked fingers that causes me to lose these things.

July is coming to an end...

Time has been flying... Alex is leaving today. Fun weekend: Lunch at Pasquini's, Body World, Erma's Bday Party, Bar hopping downtown, APDC Dim Sum Brunch, Inception, and Pho. :)

This week will be super busy prepping for the Dragon Boat Festival. I'm excited to see it all come together. It has been an incredible learning experience. What am I going to do with myself when it's over?

Oh yeah, starting school in August. :P

i suppose...

what hurts the most is that i'm so heartbroken... and you're so not.

miss aaco!!

we had our miss aaco sleepover tonight. it was refreshing and helped rejuvenate my passion for asian american women empowerment. the night began with a guest speaker from susan g. komen discussing breast cancer awareness. we played bonding games, ate yummy food (an excellent spread), watched some of the 2009 show and helped answer questions for the girls. i'm excited to see everything come together, and put on another amazing show this year. gah, last year was so fun. photo shoot tomorrow!

my washer and dryer were delivered today. it sounds funny saying that, but it's true. i am a little grown-up. we're just waiting to get the rest of the couch here on monday. then i'm going to look into painting two of the walls. still need an office chair, maybe some bar stools and that's about it! i really like the area although the construction can get a little loud when i'm napping during the day. :P

things have been really good lately. i am pretty sure i can't get any busier than i am RIGHT now, but when things slow down, i will appreciate everything. colorado dragon boat festival is a month away and i have a never-ending list of things to do! but i love it.

oh boy.

my place is coming together. waiting for dining table and dresser to get delivered tomorrow morning. i'm a little grown-up.

i am ridiculously busy these days with miss aaco, the magazine, work and dragon boat festival planning. getting little to no sleep.... while trying to go out with friends, hiking and have action-packed weekends. this is all going to catch up with me soon. a day of rest is inevitable. but there never seems to be enough time in the day to do everything i want (and need) to.

i went to the advising center at UCD today to set up my MBA plan for the next two years. woo hoo. i'm so excited to register for classes, even though i will only be registering for two this fall. my little academic brain wants to get back to work.

letting go and starting over...

wind down...

whew, long day with melissa. the bolder boulder really kicked my half-ass-trained butt today. ran 6.2 miles in 1 hr 16 min with an average pace of 12 min/mile. not too bad! especially, since i'm pretty sure i walked half of it. haha.

spent the afternoon at marika's for an impromptu memorial day BBQ with margaritas and volleyball. then just came home from sex and the city 2 with melissa. whole body is tired and ready to knock out for work tomorrow.

erma and i are going to stay at our condo tomorrow night for the first time. woot. been so busy i haven't even finished unpacking or gotten any sheets for me to sleep on!! but it'll all come together soon. house warming party in one month!

translation please.

so at work, i always see these little kids translating in English for their immigrant/refugee parents. it reminds me of when we were young and my parents would have us interpret for them, sometimes very important phone calls.

the psychotherapist at work said that many of the kids are now suffering from depression or stress because they have to interpret during their parents' mental health sessions... and then they become aware of things like: they are going to get kicked out of their home, or their parents want a divorce, or that their parents are going be forced out of the country. serious business. and when i say kids, i mean some are as young as 7 or 8. it's really sad. talk about having to grow up at a young age. it's true, parents hide a lot from their kids--to keep their minds innocent and pure.

although i could relate to this scenario on such a minor scale, it is a reminder to me about the 'american dream' and what first-generation immigrants have gone through to get here.

the people i meet never cease to amaze me. i've learned so much...

bolder boulder training

...or lack thereof.

so i'm all registered. i wonder if i should get some new running shoes... probably not at this point, huh? just one week. probably should have thought about this a little earlier...

i'm scurred. 10k = 6.2 miles. i think i can do it. i was running about 45 minutes straight last week. that's a good sign. just need to put some more work in these next few days. oh yayers.

TIME 100

Each year, Time magazine releases its “Top 100 Most Influential People in the World”. The magazine's list, now in its seventh year, recognizes the activism, innovation and achievement of the world's most influential individuals.

I'm doing an article on this for the next Asian Avenue magazine cover story and this women just completely stood out on this list...

Chen Shu-Chu - Taiwanese, 59, Vegetable Vender
Chen Shu-Chu sells vegetables in a stall in Taitung County's central market, in eastern Taiwan. From her modest living, she has managed to donate nearly NT$10 million (that's $320,000) to various causes, including a children's fund, the construction of a library at a school she attended, and a local orphanage, where she also gives financial support to three children.

According to Time magazine, “What's so wonderful about Chen's achievement is not its extraordinariness but that it is so simple and matter of fact in its generosity. And rather than bask in her celebrity, Chen seems to dismiss the whole thing with a wave of her hand, perhaps even with a hint of irritation.”

"There isn't much to talk about, because I did not enter any competition," she says. "I haven't really made any huge donations."

She's planning to establish a fund to help the poor with education, food and health care. Amazing, but of all she has given away, her greatest gift is her example.

“Money serves its purpose only when it is used for those who need it," she told a newspaper.

Most of the other individuals are politicians, business people, writers and doctors... I love that she is a VEGETABLE VENDOR.

sigh of relief...

everything worked out in the end. and we closed on the condo today.

i have the keys. i went over there after work just to see it and to be friends with it. she is pretty.

really busy weekend, but hopefully i can start moving some things on sunday, since i will be out of town the following weekend. so exciting!!!!!!!!

i have an interview for the mba program in two weeks too. things are happening so fast. =)

laughing

today, i laughed really hard. the hardest i have in a long time. the day went on, and it happened again. :)

after work, i went to look at TVs, laundry machines, dryers, artwork and other household items. i'm excited to have somewhere to call home and to be able to decorate the way i want to. putting up photos, installing curtains, painting the walls, taking care of plants... i feel lucky and grateful. my life is coming together and a lot of the hurt and pain is starting to go away. thank god.

9300 florida

had a walk through today to put the final touches on the condo. it is beautiful. :) closing on friday with my sister. wei and vicky's wedding this saturday and isle casino event on sunday!! should be a very eventful week with lots to look forward to.

keeping my head up. making it a point to keep moving forward and not look back. wouldn't want to turn into a pillar of salt or anything.

biggest loser.

oh no, uncle o'neal!!! biggest loser so sad this week.

break-ups in the 21st century

mannn... breaking up these days is hard. there's just too much technology and ways to connect with someone. especially for someone like me with no self control.

facebook, youtube, texts, calls, emails, chats, gahhh... i wish we could just stop writing letters and call it a day.

HAHA. time and space. time and space. okay, got it. or do i?

i'm packing again...

but this time is different.

this time i know where i am going... and i like it.

this time i'm throwing away more than i ever have in the past.

and this time i feel good :)

hello, is anyone out there?

So... does anyone really use this thing?

I suppose it's a nice way for me to just practice writing and practice how to be interesting, in time for my book debut!

So work has been really good lately. I feel important there, like the patients need me, but also the staff. I've been helping with some internal staff and procedural issues, and it's exciting. I want to spend some more time training about the healthcare system, so hopefully I'll get to attend some of these in the future. I'm also motivated to learn another language. Every day we get so many diverse patients and I want to be able to communicate with them. I already know several phrases in Korean--but when I use them, patients automatically assume I'm Korean. So I feel bad breaking their hearts when I have to say slowly, "no, CHINESE." So maybe not Korean...

Erma and I went to look at the condo tonight--it's so nice! I'm really excited. The kitchen opens into the living space, which is what I've always wanted. The area is new and modern, it's 5 minutes from the clinic, there's lots of storage, they take out our trash, there are window sills so we can put up plants--and it's going to be mine!!! =) :dance: Once the magazine is done this month (which I should be working on now) and the GMATs are taken May 7th, I'm going to feel so relieved. Hoping to close May 14th when Jenny is in town for Wei and Vicky's wedding... then Marika and Marcie's graduation party on May 16th. And I'll just be waiting to hear back about school. So hopefully during that time I can actually take that vacation I've been talking about for so long.

Miss AACO festivities are starting this weekend. We're going to have our first meeting and photo shoot on Saturday. I'm stoked to meet the new ladies and get connected with everyone again. =) Other than that, I'd really like to go dancing this weekend... club-style, not a bar.

^^ Things are looking up ^^

my plan.

everyone keeps asking me what my plan is. in the past, i have had many plans. what i have found is that no plan is ever so direct, clear and precise. you must be agile, flexible and quick to reroute as needed. so as of this moment, here's my no-guarantee-if-this-is going-to-happen-but-here's-my-plan PLAN:

1) taking gmat on may 7th (less than 2 weeks, yikes!)
2) finishing up application to ucd's mba in health administration program--and hopefully getting accepted to start in fall 2010
3) moving into 3-bedroom condo with two of my lovely friends
4) working at cahep health clinic
5) maintaining asian avenue magazine
6) fixing my stupid tooth
7) taking a vacation!!!

that's all folks.

my blog

i want to try posting more even though i don't think anyone reads this--or is even on blogger--but i want to get back into it. i kinda regret deleting my xanga! :( because i used it all through college.

oh well. this one will be better!

i went downtown last night with my girlfriends. we stayed at jet hotel. began the night with dinner at the Rio, then we headed by 1515 for the ritual long island stop. then we went to tavern for some cheap drinks and spent the rest of the night at lodo's. it was a kennedy reunion at lodo's but i like seeing old faces! it was a lot of fun... but my heart is still sad. i can see how much people care about me though. i hate bringing them down, but i have always been one wear my heart out on my sleeve.

this morning i went to temple with erma. did you know, it's also buddha's birthday? not just easter. so we went for a ceremony called hanamatsuri (buddha's bday). it was nice to see her grandparents again.